I am taking a short break from "real life" to do a year of mission work with the Presbyterian Church-U.S.A. The mission program is called Young Adult Volunteers and the local name for my site (Nashville) is the "Nashville Epiphany Project". This is my online journal- feel free to follow along, add comments, questions or just say hi!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Nashville here I come!
My mom and I are leaving early tomorrow morning for Nashville. I still can't believe it's here! We will get into Nashville late on Sunday (3 days from today) and the Orientation starts on Monday. I'm really excited but once again a little nervous. I will write again after Orientation or soon after I start the job.
Before I forget, I wanted to acknowledge and thank all of you who have donated who I didn't mention before:
Chap. Richards McBride Adriane Rabner Hillary Waugh Rev. Phil Smith Allison Leslie Jamie Harris Grandma/Grandpa Pflasterer the St. Cyr family Amy Johnson Jon Chapman Carrie Tuttle Lori Hoffman
I will be in Nashville in 3 days!! Please pray for safe travel. I'll write again once I'm in Nashville. Thanks!
Well, I leave for Nashville in a week and a half. This whole summer I have been really excited about the program, and there is no doubt that I am still excited. But I've started to feel nervous, as well, this past week. I've begin thinking about the realities of living on less than $400/month.
Before, the idea of "living simply" sounded really nice- even romantic! lol. But all of a sudden, I'm kind of scared and I'm mourning all of the luxuries I'm going to have to forgo. For instance, I've been thinking about luxuries I like to buy (pedicures services, fancy haircuts, gourmet food to cook gourmet meals, a glass of wine here and there, etc) and how I'm most likely not going to be able to afford any of these things this year.
I've been thinking about the Henri Nouwen quote: "Jesus promises a life in which we increasingly have to stretch our hands and be lead into places where we’d rather not go.”
I guess I'm facing the stark realities of that promise! I believe this program is something Christ has called me to. But I am definitely feeling the "where we'd rather not go" part of that quote. Deep down, I really do want to do this program but everything inside of me lately has been protesting it. I feel like a whiny child saying "But Dad, I HAVE to have that new toy..I can't LIVE without that new toy."
Please pray that the Lord would prepare my heart for making some big sacrifices and that that I could trust more that He will provide for all of the thing I really need (which is probably not a fancy haircut or regular pedicures, as necessary as I may think those things are!) and that even..maybe...that God could change my heart to not rely so much on luxuries and other silly things I put my identity in. Thank You!
I just wanted to let everyone know that I have officially reached my goal of $4000 for the year. So that means I'm for sure going to Nashville!!! :) I leave in about 2 1/2 weeks. And I can't wait.
It's been an interesting process of fund-raising this summer. I was anxious about the whole thing at the beginning of the summer. Feeling cynical, I wondered how I was going to raise $4000 and I was not as optimistic about the fund-raising process (because let's be honest...does anyone really enjoy fundraising?) as I probably should have been.
As the summer progressed, I would have days where I was feeling more hopeful followed by moments where I was freaking out and doubting that God would provide. By August, I had a bit more trust, but I have to admit that there were still moments when I was worried.
Yes, fund-raising is DEFINITELY hard, but I think I understand why this was a part of the program now. The whole thing has reminded me that God is Good--- all the time- and that even when we doubt God's faithfulness, He still remains true and provides for our needs.
I was reading something recently in one of my favorite books, Irresistible Revolution, that talks about miracles in our modern day:
"He [the author's professor] told me that we have insulated ourselves from miracles. We no longer live with such reckless faith that we need them. There is rarely room for the transcendent in our lives. If we get sick, we go to a doctor. If we need food, we go to the store and buy it. We have eliminated the need for miracles" (page 49).
I thought this quote was poignant. As I was reading it recently, it reminded me of this fund-raising process. It has been sort of a mini-miracle in itself! I had no idea where the $4000 was going to come from at the start of this. But it has reminded me that miracles happen and that God is beyond faithful (as if God has ever not been faithful! lol..it's amazing how easily I forget these things).
I'll write again soon! Again, Thank you everyone for your prayers and support.
